The Internet

So I spent a good 4 hours surfing the net today, and I mention 4 as a lot because none of it was used looking at peeno. Anyways much of it was devoted to looking at movies at imdb.com, specifically the discussion boards about the films. After about an hour it dawned on me that basically the internet is good for two things peeno and hating. I could not believe how many people were just being assholes for no reason, yes I understand Saving Private Ryan was not that great of a film but calling people who like it gay is unnecessary. This hate is only underscored by almost every fifth post being removed by an administrator. Why do people feel the urge to defend the merits of The Matrix Revolutions? I wonder if people would be just as big assholes in real life if they had the anonymity they enjoy on the internet?

I Wonder???

What happens when you want to throw out a trash can?

Simpsons

So this weekend I discovered a website where you can watch almost all of the Simpsons episodes ever made. It was kind of funny because to watch the episodes the site admin makes you fill out this survey with all of these crazy scams embedded in it that took about ten minutes to complete. It made me remember the old internet, an internet filled with uncertainty where you couldn't trust all of the pages out there and it was less apparent which ones were just going to give you pop-ups. Anyways I've discovered about 5 or 6 episodes that I've never seen before. They were mostly from season 9 and it has opened up a completely new chapter in my life. more to come

Star Trek (Spoiler Alert)

So I saw the new Star Trek last night at 7, which was cool because I didn't have to wait until midnight or whatever to see it the day before. The theater was also pretty empty and I guess no one in San Diego is really a trekkie cuz no one was dressed up except for one guy who was wearing a kilt. As for the movie, there are just too many science based errors/problems I have with the movie. For instance the old Spock talks to the new Spock, WTF doesn't this cause a rip in the space time continuum? I mean I know not all Star Trek science is real but I mean come on, you had Steven Hawking on your show. Also Spock was too emotional, and outranked Kirk, and got Uhura??? WTF I mean I am a bigger Star Wars fan than Trek, but when I want to take a break from unrealism I watch Star Trek. This film just had too many small problems that added up over time to just ultimately annoy me. However the movie was not all lost, almost all of the characters were spot on. Kirk, contrary to my previous assumptions, was not a school boy bitch and truly channeled his inner Shat, that 'good god man' he had was pretty good. But the oscar goes to bones, he was the real McCoy and did an outstanding job. In the end I hope this movie sparks interest for more Star Trek, hopefully of a higher caliber with more realism, and also did this just seem like they were jacking off Leonard Nimoy?

Groinular Humor

It works on so many levels

Another Deuce-related Game of Promise

So this is another deucing game that looks quite interesting

What Your Hot Sauce Says About YOU!

Ah you enjoy hot sauce, a person of discerning taste no doubt, but can your hot sauce reveal something about your personality? I've taken a deeper look into the manner, and let me say things got spicy.

Tobasco- You're a traditionalist, you like the classic original taste of America. Some might even call you a patriot, and that makes you glad, you like feeling part of something older than yourself. On the other hand if you own Tobasco but don't enjoy it yourself, and only have it there for another person as a condiment you're a complete and total tool. You know nothing of spice and figured "oh my friend likes spicy food, I'll give them tobasco" wrong! Most people I know when asked what sauce they like, would not say tobasco, it takes a certain person to enjoy tobasco, you should've gone with Tapatio or Cholula.

Tapatio- ah you're probably a Raiders fan, which is ok i guess, but you don't like to adhere to the normalcy of American type hot sauce. You want something different, a bit more flavor, you're not crazy about the hotness, but the flavor, that's what gets you.

Cholula- on the other hand, you also like the flavor, but are partial to the wooden cap, it's nice how it's not made of plastic, and somehow you like that. You have a more discerning taste, while similar in taste to Tapatio you would say "no I prefer Cholula". You are a true individualist and don't want other people to get in your way with 'inferior sauces' and why should they?

Sriracha-(red rooster sauce) You are a person of taste, you fancy the exotic, and you're taste has evolved and has been able to combine the heat with the flavor. You've tried all of the others but fell in love with Sriracha, and you judge a resturant on whether it has the sauce or not. You also probably have a false sense of security about you, seeing others use other hot sauces you think " what amateurs they think THEY can handle the heat", but why not all those other people who don't use Sriracha probably do suck.

Other- (Crystal, Red Rooster, various Trapeys brands)- You are loyal, you stay true to the sauce you love and you'll go great lengths to get it. You even more than the Tobasco fan enjoy normalcy, for you a meal just isn't right if it has your hot sauce. But you're good at dealing with disappointment, while at a friends house they know you like food and pull out their generic hot sauce for you because they know you like hot food, you oblidge and are thankful for their thoughtfulness. You'll buckle down and use their sauce all the while wishing you were using your own brand, but this is normal for you as no one you know would go out of their way to find or even buy your obscure sauce.

So remember next time you see someone reaching for some hot suace, remeber now you can judge the sauce by the bottle.

Swine Flu is upon us!

So there was a press conference today at SDSU saying there is a possible case of Swine Flu at SDSU. Well we may not know but there are already a few cases in San Diego and I for one am glad. What does this mean to me you ask? Well if this really is a pandemic then thousands if not millions could possibly perish, but remember there are always two sides to every coin. Since I am a fervent environmentalist I couldn't be more happy. This could mean that millions of people who are selfishly consuming, littering, and emitting carbon would simply vanish. This means that the world would ultimately be a better place with less polution, even though a few people might die. So doesn't that mean that every other environmentalist would also be for everyone dying from swine flu if the earth turned out to be a better place? I think next time you subscribe to an ideology you look at the flip side. Also is anyone else in the mood for chocolate? (most of this was sarcasm, (except for the chocolate) I'm not that big of an ass)

Solid Pundamentals

I've become obsessed with this website and Snickers, although I will say I'm more partial to the almond variety but who am I to argue over nuts? So if you're in the mood for pure chonz

http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/snickers?ref=mf#wall

Debateably the best time of the year?

So I told myself that I would do a bunch of homework this weekend, but I ended up watching a bunch of sports. I mean is it really my fault? There was the yankees-sox series, the nfl draft, playoff hockey, and playoff bastekball. I was thinking about this and I couldn't decide if this was my favorite time of the sports year. The other notable time are fall, because of playoff baseball and football, new years, because of college football and pro ball, and now. I think that right now is my semi-favorite sports time, this is because I have no real interest in any of the events occurring now. I mean I'm not that interested in basket ball or hockey, and the draft was just enough football while baseball is anothing enticement. I think all of the sports are just not interesting enough which creates prime conditions for me to become a sports watching-popeyes eating zombies. The problem with the other times of the year is football takes all my interest and baseball just becomes an nuissance taking away sunday/monday night games due to the world series. So you know I've been a piece of shit when I write a disjointed and confusing entry about which sports time is better.

f fmylife.com

Why is this site popular, or even considered funny? I will admit I do enjoy laughing at other peoples' disappointment and failure, but many of these stories are hardly equivalent to a fuck my life. For instance getting walked in on is embarrassing at most and comical at the least, but if that is the worst thing happening in your life then there's something wrong with you. A true fuck my life moment would be my best friend is cheating with my girlfriend, or I got fired for yerking it at work, or waking up next to a dude naked. I guess it's cool for people to vent, but maybe they should count their blessings instead of looking for things to fuck including their life.

Happy Bearthday! Stay a while and listen!

So I hate to trash the earth in these two posts, pun intended, but it was earth day today and I was mildly annoyed. I don't get the point of wasting gas to drive places and wasting resources on free handouts to supposedly get people involved in the environment. Also why is it called earth day? why not planet day? I don't know what other non-americans call it, but I'm sure it goes or has gone by other names. Calling it earth just seems like a smear to anyone who doesn't call it that. Besides, asking me if I have any empty plastic water bottles to recycle when the only thing on my persons is a pencil and my notebook. I do not enjoy being hassled and then made to feel bad that I don't have any empty plastic water bottles to recycle at that specific moment. Lastly, 30 year olds who play guitars in a circle and attempt to woo pedestrians with their vast knowledge of life at the ripe old age of 30 have clearly never played Diablo. Deckard Cain had a fire, said inviting things, could identify items, and gave you the necessary instructions to create the horadric staff. This 30 year old should take a page out Deckard's book, or a scroll perhaps?

Why going green is for chumps and Boston area sports fans

I hate when people ask you to go green or try a green alternative or annoy you with anything that's green. My thought is that the U.S.A. has never been great at preventative legislation and only makes the necessary changes after the fact. So why don't we do nothing until something bad happens so Congress can pass legislation to fix it. This means that the best thing to do is nothing and let the situation get so bad, heavy legislative changes become the only option to fixing the problem. In fact the absolute best thing to do is to waste as much energy and produce huge amounts of carbon as to make the situation even worse so something bad happens even faster. On a final note anything or one from Boston sucks!

MLD Handbook

Ok so here's how the MLD works
1. The first deuce you take does not count for anything, it's a spring training game as you will, it only serves to compare the next deuce you take.
2. The second deuce will be compared in volume to the first.
3. If the second deuce is larger than it's a win, but if it's smaller then it is a loss.
4. The third deuce will be compared with the second deuce, and if the thrid is larger then it's a win but if it's smaller then it is a loss.
5. This procedure will be repeated for all of the following deuces.
6. A deuce will only count if it is taken an hour after the previous, this is to ensure the deucer will not "pinch" a deuce only to immediately drop another for a win.
7. Performance enhancing drugs- no player is allowed to take any over the counter laxatives as this would violate the MLD anti-doping policy
8. However there are some "supplements" that are permitted, if a player wishes to take a stool softener, that is legal as the MLD would want to minimize the pain that professional deucing can take on the body.
9. Legal laxatives include nicotine and caffeine
10. Any questions or discrepancies should be commented on and brought to the commissioner's attention. ie Chonzai

So it's a deuce-off you want?

As I contemplate my deucing stats (I'm a min 2 avg 2) the idea crossed my mind of an MLB of deucing as you will, an MLD, Major League Deucing. The rules of the game are simple and all you need to do to is deuce. The way you win is to out-deuce yourself, that is the deuce you just took must be larger is volume than the previous deuce. Deuces can only count if they are taken a hour apart from each other. Since deucing is a lot like a baseball game, some are short, some are long, while yet others are sometimes rain delayed. Deucing is an everyman's sport since everyman deuces so why don't we start keeping stats and I'll see you at the all-star break.