MLD Handbook

Ok so here's how the MLD works
1. The first deuce you take does not count for anything, it's a spring training game as you will, it only serves to compare the next deuce you take.
2. The second deuce will be compared in volume to the first.
3. If the second deuce is larger than it's a win, but if it's smaller then it is a loss.
4. The third deuce will be compared with the second deuce, and if the thrid is larger then it's a win but if it's smaller then it is a loss.
5. This procedure will be repeated for all of the following deuces.
6. A deuce will only count if it is taken an hour after the previous, this is to ensure the deucer will not "pinch" a deuce only to immediately drop another for a win.
7. Performance enhancing drugs- no player is allowed to take any over the counter laxatives as this would violate the MLD anti-doping policy
8. However there are some "supplements" that are permitted, if a player wishes to take a stool softener, that is legal as the MLD would want to minimize the pain that professional deucing can take on the body.
9. Legal laxatives include nicotine and caffeine
10. Any questions or discrepancies should be commented on and brought to the commissioner's attention. ie Chonzai

So it's a deuce-off you want?

As I contemplate my deucing stats (I'm a min 2 avg 2) the idea crossed my mind of an MLB of deucing as you will, an MLD, Major League Deucing. The rules of the game are simple and all you need to do to is deuce. The way you win is to out-deuce yourself, that is the deuce you just took must be larger is volume than the previous deuce. Deuces can only count if they are taken a hour apart from each other. Since deucing is a lot like a baseball game, some are short, some are long, while yet others are sometimes rain delayed. Deucing is an everyman's sport since everyman deuces so why don't we start keeping stats and I'll see you at the all-star break.